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Moms: Blessing, Loss & the Whole Darn Thing

12 May 2013

I considered not writing this post this year, as I have in the past, but today is here and I feel like I must. Today is one of those days that is chock full of emotions for me...particularly in three areas.

First, let me start with the fabulous moms in my life. My mom, who has always loved us so selflessly and sacrificially. I see it all so much more the older I get and as I have become a mom myself. And also, to John's mom, who raised him to become an incredible man. I am thankful that she has always loved him unconditionally, and now me and my children as well.
Second, my sweet Karis Ansleigh. This girl is the absolute joy of my life. She is, without question, the best thing I have ever done. She is the one who calls me Mama...and of the three babies I have ever carried for any period of time, she is at this point, the only one I have ever held in my arms. I adore her more than words can say and am eternally grateful to be her Mama. 
And finally, I think so much of how this day is difficult for so many people. It's difficult for those struggling with infertility; for any mamas who lost their babies while they were still in the womb; and for those mamas who have lost their babies; and of course to all of those who have lost their mamas. While it's a day to celebrate and a day of joy for so's a day that stirs up pain and hurt for so many. 

This is the fourth time I've 'been a part of' Mother's Day in some form or fashion. 
In 2010 I was newly pregnant for the first time, but sadly lost that baby about a week later. 
In 2011 I was 6 months pregnant with my precious Karis Ansleigh. 
In 2012 I got to spend the day with my Karis, as a happy, healthy 8 month old. 
Now, in 2013 I have my sweet Karis girl, and am also incredibly blessed to carry a son.

While I am blessed beyond belief to have a beautiful, sweet Baby Girl...and carry my precious Baby Boy in my womb, there were times that I thought this wouldn't happen. We walked the heartbreaking road of infertility and had to face the devastation of miscarriage. It is because of these events that I understand just how hard today is for some women. 

Know that if you are hurting or in pain on this Mother's Day, that you are thought of and prayed for. I know it seems like the dream of a baby seems so far off and that your heart might break wide open from emptiness. You're not alone. I don't know what it's like to lose a mom. It's a pain that I cannot even wrap my mind around and hate to even consider. But, if you are feeling that pain this year, you're not alone. 

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