I wanted to write a quick post regarding Mother's Day. First of all, I must acknowledge and give thanks to our wonderful mothers. My mom - Carolyn McIntyre, John's mom - Karen Williamson, and John's grandmother - Jackie Swigart...we love you and are so thankful to have you as part of our lives. You have created a lovely heritage for our Karis to follow in...and we are so glad that you will all be a part of her life. I do know that there are many other fabulous mothers that are reading this blog that I did not mention by name, aunts, cousins, sisters-in-law....and we love you too. However, I was afraid if I started naming all the names, I would maybe leave someone out, so I will just stick with our immediate moms. :)
I would, however, be remiss if I did not mention how heavy my heart is today. I know firsthand just how difficult Mother's day can be for those who so desperately desire to be mother's themselves, but have not yet been able. This morning I was thinking back to the last two years on Mother's Day. Two years ago, I remember going down to the altar at church and praying out to God because I wanted so badly to be a mom. Last year, I was actually pregnant on Mother's Day. No one in the world except for me and John knew about it, but I remember the incredible joy I had last year, even when it was just our secret. Only a week later my dream would be crushed and our baby was gone, but for a moment, I did get a glimpse of the joy that motherhood can/will bring. Now, here I sit with my laptop a little farther away than it once was, as my belly is growing larger and taking up more space on my lap....tucked inside is my sweet little girl, who I am eternally grateful for. I genuinely feel so blessed that our God, who I know to be Redeemer and Restorer, allowed us the opportunity to become parents. I am still thankful that our journey wasn't the easiest. I think that my struggle with fertility and miscarriage was with purpose. It helped me to understand that days like today are not joyful and happy for everyone. In fact days like today can be downright devastating for some.
All of this is to say, while I am so grateful and thankful for all the wonderful moms in our life...and while I cannot wait to meet my sweet little girl, I am still burdened today. We know personally several couples who are so desperate to have children of their own. It's very easy to acknowledge that it's just not fair that they haven't been able to yet. But, perhaps there is purpose in it all. I pray that their dreams would be answered and that a sweet baby would come along, whether it be through pregnancy, adoption or surrogacy. In the meantime I pray that the God of all comforts would be their comfort and strength through the heartbreaking wait.
I would, however, be remiss if I did not mention how heavy my heart is today. I know firsthand just how difficult Mother's day can be for those who so desperately desire to be mother's themselves, but have not yet been able. This morning I was thinking back to the last two years on Mother's Day. Two years ago, I remember going down to the altar at church and praying out to God because I wanted so badly to be a mom. Last year, I was actually pregnant on Mother's Day. No one in the world except for me and John knew about it, but I remember the incredible joy I had last year, even when it was just our secret. Only a week later my dream would be crushed and our baby was gone, but for a moment, I did get a glimpse of the joy that motherhood can/will bring. Now, here I sit with my laptop a little farther away than it once was, as my belly is growing larger and taking up more space on my lap....tucked inside is my sweet little girl, who I am eternally grateful for. I genuinely feel so blessed that our God, who I know to be Redeemer and Restorer, allowed us the opportunity to become parents. I am still thankful that our journey wasn't the easiest. I think that my struggle with fertility and miscarriage was with purpose. It helped me to understand that days like today are not joyful and happy for everyone. In fact days like today can be downright devastating for some.
All of this is to say, while I am so grateful and thankful for all the wonderful moms in our life...and while I cannot wait to meet my sweet little girl, I am still burdened today. We know personally several couples who are so desperate to have children of their own. It's very easy to acknowledge that it's just not fair that they haven't been able to yet. But, perhaps there is purpose in it all. I pray that their dreams would be answered and that a sweet baby would come along, whether it be through pregnancy, adoption or surrogacy. In the meantime I pray that the God of all comforts would be their comfort and strength through the heartbreaking wait.
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