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30 January 2011

Insufficiency is something I keep thinking about over and over. I am a mother to a 10 week old fetus. I have never seen my baby, nor held or touched my baby and I already have feelings of insufficiency. It's amazing how God can always bring things right back to Himself. I think this is how I am supposed to feel. I also think anyone who is reading this that has children will tell me that I will only feel more and more insufficient, in my own power, as this child comes in to the world and as we try to raise him/her.
What do I mean, you ask? I know that right now I am feeling it on such a small level. But, the one key thing that I need to be worrying about/taking care of with this baby is the food I eat. Typically, in my normal, unpregnant life, I have actually become quite a healthy eater. It's amazing how quickly that changes when you become pregnant. Like I have mentioned before some foods that I was eating like crazy a couple months ago are the last thing on the planet I feel like eating right now. Raw spinach, sweet potatoes, salad...pretty much green veggies. It's terrible. I don't like feeling so opposed to such good foods right now, but that's just the way it is. When we were at the doctor a week or so ago one of the ladies said something to me that has really stuck with me and that made me feel so much better. She said even if I didn't eat for a week, as long as I was drinking fluids and got water, that the baby was going to get the nutrients it needs. What a relief! Not that I want that to be my excuse or fall-back, but it's so nice to know. I really do have comfort in the fact that I am still getting Juice Plus, so certainly that's a little something extra. It does seem like things are slowly getting better. I am finally wanting fruits again. I downed blueberries this weekend like there was no tomorrow...and apples. So, I'm hoping that in the next few weeks this will slowly shift into other areas. Until that point, I am left constantly thinking of 2 Corinthians 12:9...and clinging to that.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
What a promise!

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